Thursday, October 24, 2013

34 Week Surprise.

On Tuesday, it was another day on bed rest.  I was officially at 34 weeks and feeling stoked that lil' man was still cookin'.
Steve went into work and it seemed like another normal day.  Around 12:30 I started to feel a little bit  of cramps in my back.  It quickly turned into a lot of cramps and I could tell it wasn't just a back ache, it was turning into contractions.  I called my dad and asked him to get me my medication that stops contractions.  Ellen knocked on the door after I got off the phone with my dad and she got me my medication.  Generally the medication works pretty quickly, but this time it was different.  I called Steve to tell him what was going on and that it would be a good idea if he could take me to the hospital. My dad came and since the contractions weren't slowing down we told Steve to meet me at the hospital and my dad would take me to the hospital.

I had a lot of things going on in my mind.  Mainly fear.  I wish that wasn't the case but it's true.  I was super nervous and worried that something could go wrong since I still had my stitch!  It's a good thing my dad was with me.  He knows how to be calm and knows how to say the right things.
The contractions kept coming and they were definitely not going away.
Steve was waiting outside the hospital with a wheelchair, it made me happy to see him.  Steve wheeled me into labor and delivery and the contractions kept coming.  As we waited for the admit desk, a very cheerful medical student came up to us wanting to chit-chat. thank you.  I know he meant well, but I really was in no mood to be cheerful and my back was really starting to hurt!! I feel a little bad now, I think I might have scowled at him.

When we got to the room, everything seemed to be moving very quickly. The nurse hooked me up to a monitor to watch Bex heart rate and my contractions.  Bex heart beat was perfect, and my contractions kept coming.  We made sure the nurse was aware that I had a cerclage and that we didn't want my cervix tearing. The nurse checked my cervix and she said that I was dilating, so she said we would most likely have to remove it. After she checked my cervix I felt really nauseous and puked.

Steve is wonderful, he would rub my back and ask if I needed anything. So glad he was by my side.
My doctor happened to be gone and so another doctor from the same practice was going to remove the stitch.  This doctor is also a really good doctor, but I have so much confidence in my doctor.  I think I would have felt more at ease if he was there.  The doctor told Steve and I the stitch has done it's job and has gone as far as we could leave it in without it doing damage.  So, we told him we would be fine with him removing the stitch.  Before the procedure, Steve was able to give me a blessing and I'm so grateful that he did.  I felt at peace and knew that everything would be okay.

The procedure went well, it was painful but only lasted 15-20 min.  It really wasn't as bad as what I had imagined it to be.  Beckham's heart rate jumped to 200bpm and he was going crazy in my stomach!  The nurse and doctor said that he was fine, he was just being very active.  He was probably thrilled to not be so confined with that stitch at his head 24/7.  The doctor said that my cervix was 90% effaced and between 1-2 dilated.  No one knew if I was going to have Beckham or how quickly things would progress, so we camped out at the hospital for a few hours.
My doctor was contacted and he advised that I get a shot to slow contractions down to see if that would work.  Well, the medication worked and all contractions stopped.  Beckham calmed down, and we sat in the hospital bed waiting.  After a few hours we got the okay to go home.  I was relieved.  Steve, was a little disappointed.  On the ride home the contractions started up again, but once I laid on the couch they would go away.

It's now Thursday night and still no baby!  I'm very happy!!!! I'm that much closer to 35 weeks.  Every day counts.  I feel he's coming soon though, and my body is prepping for him.  Anytime I get up for the bathroom now I get a ton of pressure and Beckham is slowly getting lower.  I can feel it.  Beckham has been more active and last night he wouldn't stop moving around.  I think he's getting anxious to make his appearance.  I go in for a check up tomorrow and we will see what happens.  I'm nervous, but very excited.  I can't wait to see what our little boy looks like.

Monday, October 21, 2013

33 Weeks!

Another week almost down! I'm now at 33 weeks.  We went to the doctors on Tuesday, and I was super nervous the night before. I was worried that it could have been the day.  I'm not ready for little man to make his appearance, but I know it will happen when it's supposed to.  Steve cleaned all weekend and even picked up the car seat-just in case.

The doctor appointment went amazing!  I had an ultrasound and we saw our little guy and he is sure getting squished in there! It amazes me EVERY time I see him.  What a miracle to see this little being growing inside me.  Moving and kicking.  We were pleasantly surprised to see him practice sucking in the womb-this was so amazing!! He was practicing  sucking with his mouth and then we also saw his lungs working!!!! Oh my goodness, I've never been so happy.  I felt this huge amount of relief knowing that he's doing so well.  Steve and I couldn't stop smiling.  Connie, the ultrasound tech told us that both are great signs of how healthy he is.  He's also estimated weighing 5 lbs. 3 oz.  Feeling so blessed.  We saw the dr. and he said he is happy with how well Bex is doing every week. Also that we've made it yet another week.  He said to plan on getting the stitch removed next Friday (Ill be 34 1/2  weeks by then).  If he feels confident enough that I could go even another week, then we will try that. For now, next Friday it is! It seems so crazy to me that we could be holding our little guy next weekend! I feel more at peace now, and I'm excited.  I don't feel as unprepared and not ready. Who knows, maybe next week I'll feel a little nervous! ha.

It's now Monday, and I'm getting even more excited. Steve installed the carseat in the car, my hospital bag is almost packed and we are ready as we can be.  :)

Here's his lil' outfit that we are bringing him home in. I love the elephant on it!

This is me today (Ill be 34 weeks tomorrow!!) I'm going to miss my prego belly!

Friday, October 11, 2013

"Please doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith."

This week marks 32.  32 weeks!!!! Every single day is a huge victory.

This week has been very hard for me. I have felt discouraged and unprepared. I could be having our little guy in just 2 weeks and I don't feel ready.  I've been waiting so many years for this little guy to come into our life, and the time is coming so quickly now.  I don't know what it is lately and why I've been feeling the way that I have been. Maybe all first time mom's feel this way?  It has been hard since I can't physically prepare for his arrival.  I also have been feeling discouraged that I have no control over the fact that my body can't physically keep in full term.  I want him to have the best chance at life, and I want him to be healthy.

This morning I was able to go to the doctors, and I now go every single week.  They check on my stitch to make sure it's not tearing or thinning.  Dr. told Steve and I that if it is tearing even just a little bit he has to remove it.  He told us that today could be the day.  Was I nervous? YES. I felt my heart sink when he said those words.  Did I pray my heart out that today wasn't the day? YES. Of course I did. And by God's grace, today wasn't the day. Our doctor then said that he is planning on removing the stitch the week of the 21st-of this month. I'll be 34 weeks.  Our doctor is amazing, and he could sense I was getting worried.  He told me everything is going to be fine and that we are so lucky that we've made it this far!  He said Beckham is healthy and with the steroid shots it really should help his lungs.  To be on the safe side, he said that I would get another steroid shot.. SO I got another one of those lovely's today. It hurt BUT if it helps Bex lungs, it's all worth it.  Dr said that would be the end of the steroid shots! :)  Steve, on the ride home kept telling me how excited he is to see Beckham in just 2 weeks.  He's such a good hubby and I know he's going to make such an amazing father.  Steve seems to have no worries of bex coming early. I asked him why he wasn't worried, and he said that everything  will work out, and that God is in charge.  I know this!! My heavens, I don't know why I have so much fear lately.

One of my dear friends texted this to me today. Perfect timing.  I know without a doubt she was inspired to tell me this.  She said I loved this quote from Pres. Uchtdorf last week during conference- "Please doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith."  Short, direct, simple and profound.
Then it hit me.  I know I can't physically prepare for our little guy but I can spiritually prepare for him.  I need to be relying more on my Father in Heaven and having faith that it will all work out.  The way he intended.  Because of him I've made it to 32 weeks! Because of him I've witnessed miracle after miracle during this pregnancy.  It will all work out. I shouldn't have anything to fear because God is in charge.

Have you ever watched a mormon message?  I love. those.  I would go to those often when I was planning a lesson or Steve and I would watch them during an FHE lesson.  I came across this as well today, and I loved the comfort it has brought me.  It was a video made from the talk by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.  Motherhood: An Eternal Partnership with God.

I love these parts of it:  “Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know that my motherhood is an eternal partnership with Him.”

Mothers, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are, better than you are, and better than you have ever been.

May I say to mothers collectively, in the name of the Lord, you are magnificent. You are doing terrifically well. The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.”

I'm excited for this new journey in mine and Steve's life. I know it's not going to be easy, and maybe all this fear that I've felt is taking on this huge new role of raising a little one.  This is new to me, it's new to Steve.  But how grateful I am to know that it's not just Steve and I who are going to be raising him alone, we have our Father in Heaven to help us.  After all, motherhood is an eternal partnership in doing God's work.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

30 Weeks.

My doctor gave me the okay to go to my aunt's surprise birthday party since I would be 30 weeks that following Tuesday. ( Party was on Sunday) Dr. felt that it should be fine, since it was at my mom's (which is only 5 min from my house) and once I arrived at her house I would need to lay on the couch.  I was thrilled.  I could have a little bit of freedom, even if it was just for a couple of hours.
My sister knew how I wanted to get maternity pictures before our little guy got here, so we had a brilliant idea.  She would come over and do my hair while I lay on the couch and as Steve and I got out of the car she would snap some quick pictures.  So, that's what we did.

The party turned out nice, I was able to visit with family members that I hadn't seen for a long time and it was great getting out of the house.  By the end of the night, I could tell I had over done it.  I started getting a little crampy in my lower back.  Monday I was extra cautious and made sure I was down the whole day. My dr told me I can also recline in our chair, but sometimes that's too much so I made sure I was down all day on the couch on Monday.

Tuesday morning I woke up around 4:30 and started getting crampy in my lower back and then I was getting pressure.   I started to think my body was starting seemed similar to how I felt when I started pre term labor back in June.  I woke up Steve and told him.  I could tell he was a little frantic, I took my medication (it helps stop contractions) and Steve cut me up an apple.  It started to go away, so we both went back to sleep.  I woke up around 8:30 and Steve had already gone to work.  I still had that feeling in my back so I called my doctor's office.  Cindy advised that I take another pill to see if  that helps stop the cramps.  She then told me to come into the office and do a urinalysis and dr would check and make sure my cervix wasn't thinning.

Kj was leaving for the doctor for her annual appointment and told me she and my mom would just pick me up and take me there.  I let Steve know what was going on, and if I needed him I would let him know to come and meet me at the hospital.
We made it to the hospital and I was able to do a urinalysis.  Well the good news-my cervix was the same and the bad news-I had another UTI.  Which can cause pre-term labor.  My doctor was worried that I could be a little dehydrated so he had me get hooked up to IV's and he wanted to monitor my contractions and Bex's heart rate. The medication that helps stop contractions makes mine and his heart rate go really fast. I HATE the medication more than anything, but if it helps keep him in, it's worth it.

Steve ended up meeting me up at the hospital and we were there for a few hours.  The nurse said that my contractions weren't consistent enough for anyone to need to worry. She said that it had to be from my uti.  What a relief.  We are anxious to meet our little guy, but it's way to early for him to come!  My doctor sent me home and told me I need to be extra careful. So no more outings unless it's to the doctors.  I now see him every week so he can check my cervix.  Praying we can keep our little guy cookin' at least until the end of this month-if not longer!!

**Pregnancy Update**
-After a week of the steroid shots, bex has had hiccups multiple times a day.  Hiccups are a great sign that his lungs are developing
-At 29 weeks they estimated his weight to be 3 lbs. 2oz. (I'm now 31 weeks today, so hoping he's 4 lbs.)
-He's still a night owl. Loves to be most active around midnight
-Bex nursery is completed
-I swear I have an appetite of a teenage boy

Sunday, September 22, 2013

7 year Anniversary!!

Steve and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary! 7 years?!! I can't believe that it's already been that long. In a good way of course.  It's gone by so fast.
How extremely grateful I am for Steve.  He's my best friend and forever companion.  We've had an amazing journey so far together, and I'm glad that he's by my side in everything.

This anniversary seemed extra special this year.  I think because that this year our prayers were answered and we are blessed to be having our little Beckham.  Every year prior, we would always talk about and  wonder what year our family was going to grow. During our dinner we talked about how we are going to be parents.  How this year would be our last official anniversary just the two of us.  It made me a little emotional.  Our chapter in life of just the two of us is ending and a new one is opening-parenting and raising a little one!! It still feels like a dream.

Steve and I celebrated at home, he woke me up with the cutest hand made card.  The words that he wrote were beautiful. Still makes me tear up just thinking about it.
 I surprised Steve with a Batman date night (with the help of my sister, coming and hanging the bats for me.) We had candle light dinner with pizza and bread sticks and than had a Batman movie marathon! Steve was in heaven.  He LOVES Batman movies.

Happy Anniversary babe!! Can't wait for what else life brings!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

My Life.

Oh my goodness how I miss the days I could actually get ready for the day.  Get up off this couch and move my legs.  Seriously people. Bed rest has it's ups and downs.  I am so beyond grateful for my little Beckham and that he continues to grow. I realize and I know what a miracle it is to be pregnant. But bed rest is a challenge.  I can feel  my body getting weaker, it's not a fun feeling.  But I know if I just have faith in God I can get through this.  Plus, I would do anything for our little man.  He means the world to both of us, and this is just a short period in our life.

Steve is such an amazing husband.  He does everything.  Laundry, cooking and wakes up extra early to make me a good and healthy breakfast.  How blessed I am to have him for a husband and help me get through this.  Its been a challenge not being able to do anything, and watching him carry the load of everything.

I went to the doctor Thursday and we got to see our lil guy again.  We saw his little feet kicking, and now I know what's hitting me in the ribs every day. haha! He's a little busy body! I love feeling him move.  He's still measuring a week and 4 days a head of schedule. Which makes me happy.
Doctor told me that we could have him possibly at 33-34 weeks..which would be NEXT MONTH.  When he told me that, it made me feel a little worried.  Just because That is still pretty early, and I want him to be healthy.  Doctor also said that every day I can keep him in is a gift.  Since he's  getting bigger and heavier, he's always right on that stitch. And there isn't much there....

The doctor gave me two steroid shots, one on Thursday and one on Friday. It's to help Beckham's lungs develop quicker, in case he does come early.  The things I'm doing for our little man! Steroid shots are no fun.

Life is going good though. I have sooo many visitors every day, and it makes me happy.  So many family and friends have gone above and beyond for us.  Steve and I are very grateful.  I seriously know how it feels now, for elderly people. When they are at home day after day.  A visitor makes a world of difference.  If you have a grandparent or an elderly neighbor go visit them!! Once I'm off of bed rest and back in the swing of things, I'm going to make a huge effort to go visit those in need.

Something really sweet, my nephew who is now 5 said the cutest things to me.  I wanted to write them down so I don't forget.
 My dad had Carson and they both came over to visit with me, well my dad couldn't stay long and so he told Carson they had to go.  Cars looks at me and says "Keira Ill get what you need. I know how to climb counters."  So he stayed with me a while longer, while my dad ran an errand.  The entire time he was here he kept asking if I was okay and if I needed something.  He melts my heart.  Oh how I love him.
Another time he came to visit he wanted to go outside.  I reminded him I couldn't leave the couch.  He held out his hand to me and told me, he could hold my hand if I needed help on the steps. (I have steps outside my door.) Carson is the biggest sweet heart. Makes me so excited to have Beckham, and have my own little man with me all the time.

**Pregnancy update**

-I'm now in the 3rd trimester!!!
-I crave sweets like no other. I want a treat every day.
-Beckham moves all day, Steve and I  both love seeing my tummy move
-Steve tells Beckham made up cowboy stories-so cute!!
-Beckham woke up Steve for the first time, my stomach was against steve's back and he kept kicking Steve. Steve was so excited to tell me in the morning that Beckham woke him up.
-Beckham now weighs 2 lb. 9 oz.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Bex Nursery.

I've been busy planning Beckham's nursery.  I originally planned on doing an owl themed room, but it ended up turning a little more girly than what I wanted.  Our little man needs a little boy room, not a little girl one!! Steve is such a sweet heart, he would always tell me the owl theme was  a good idea etc.. Well, when I told him I'm changing the theme Steve was all for it! He kept telling me what a BETTER idea that would be.  So, I changed it to a nautical theme.  After I saw the Williams Nautica bed set. That changed my mind! It is sooo cute and is all boy.

 I haven't been able to do all the decorating that I had planned, because of bed rest.  Steve has been great and getting things that I ask for the nursery.  He's been working so hard and making it exactly the way that I've envisioned it.  I seriously have the best hubby.  I'm happy that Steve is enjoying putting together the nursery too, he gets really excited about how it's coming together as well!

Ill have to post pictures when it's completely finished, but here's a little preview:)

Hmm..what else? Oh! I had another doctor's appointment and I finally was able to get out of the house!! I was so excited.  I woke up at 6 that morning and couldn't sleep, it was like Christmas. Seriously though, I used to take for granite doing every day things.  The appointment went great, everything looks the same.  My doctor said we can start breathing easier come the end of September, when Beckham will be 30 weeks.

Here I am at 25 weeks! It was nice to actually get dressed!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Life is Full of Surprises.

I went back to work for 2 weeks and loved getting out of the house for 4 hrs a day.  It was nice to be back in my normal routine (sorta).  I LOVE having a schedule and being productive. It's just how I am. I have always been this way.
Steve and I went to the doctor's for my regular check up and we were excited to see our little man again.  They measured him via ultrasound, and he is still growing a week a head of my due date! He is healthy and I loved seeing him!! Seriously.  Miracle every time I see him.
They also measured my cervix, and unfortunatley it looked thinner.. My doctor was on vacation, and so the nurse advised that I go back on bed rest until I heard from my doctor.  So, that's what I did.

My doctor called me two days later in the evening.  I was really surprised to get a call from him considering it was already 6:30ish.  Side note-My doctor is the best doctor ever. Steve and I are sooo grateful that he is our doctor. He genuinely cares about me and Beckham.
Any way, so he called to check on me and to see how I was doing.  Wanted to make sure I wasn't getting contractions etc.. He then told me that it is critical that I am on bed rest. I'm to be on bed rest until Beckham is born.  My heart sank.
Once I got off the phone with my doctor I told Steve the news.  I felt worried, and wondered how am I going to be on bed rest until November?
I am so grateful for Steve.  He is such an amazing husband. I could tell he was worried as well, but was very positive and knew just what I needed to hear.

I can't even express on this blog how grateful and humble I have felt the past week.  We have such amazing family and friends who have gone above and beyond for us.  Simple visits, phone calls, meals, letting me know that people are here for us.  There are so many things that I could list and go on and on of service that has already been done for us.  Steve and I are very blessed.

I honestly didn't know HOW I was going to lay here for months...I prayed for guidance and peace. I had the thought come to mind that I need to make myself a schedule. So that's what I did.
 I'm now learning Swedish, baby sign, making file folder games and I have a list of other things that I'm going to be doing until our little one is here.  It has made such a difference.  I feel happier, and how can I complain?  Every day I get to feel our little one kicking around.  He reminds me why I am laying here day after day.  A couple months of laying here is nothing because in the long run we get a baby boy at the end of this.

This morning I got a phone call from my manager, the claims manager and the HR department letting me know that they are laying me off. After talking to them I started to cry.  I felt both sadness and peace.  Steve and I have been praying and talking about what the plan is when Beckham is born.  Steve graduates next May, so we were leaning on the idea of me working until than. Steve and I both knew that we received our answer.  I'm going to be a stay at home mommy! What I have longed for, for years!!! We both feel at peace and are excited that I'm going to be the one raising him.
Life is definitely full of surprises, but what comfort it is knowing that God is in charge.

Here I am at 22 1/2 weeks! I'm now at 24 1/2 and my belly is definitely getting bigger!!:) Love seeing my belly get bigger--means our little guy is too!

**Baby Update: **
-Beckham is a pound and 6oz. (as of last Tuesday)
-I crave sweets, especially ICE CREAM!! 
-I wake up every morning between 2 and 3 to use the restroom
-Beckham sometimes wakes me up in the night! He really moves around at night
-I got a bloody nose once a day for a week. Thank goodness that has stopped!
-My hair is getting thicker and nails longer..I know that will end come his due date

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Bed Rest.

I went on pretty strict bed rest for over a month.  I would have to lay flat unless I needed to take a shower or use the restroom.  This was VERY hard for me.  I have always been such a busy body.  I love to be getting things done and feeling productive.  I love being social. I remember feeling in despair at times, just laying on the couch and alone.  I felt helpless.  I kept wondering why I couldn't have a normal pregnancy.
I know, I know. I really shouldn't complain, but this is how I felt.

During the first few weeks laying down I started to feel Beckham.  I swear every time I started to feel that sadness come over me I would feel some movement of our little guy.  I began to realize that even though this pregnancy is hard.  It's all so worth it.  I have the amazing miracle of growing our little baby. I prayed for years, I cried for so  many years waiting for him. And he's here.  I can't complain.  I've been soaking it all up, and enjoying every movement.  I am so grateful for our little miracle.

I continued to go in for a multiple check ups at my doctor's office.  Beckham continue's to grow strong and healthy!  My cervix even started to look a little thicker with the stitch.  My doctor said he felt comfortable with me getting up more and preparing my body to go back to work. But I would only be able to go back to work for 4 hrs a day, and than it's back to bed rest.  I was thrilled.  So, I started getting up more and easing my body back into it.

Steve would take me places and we would look at baby stuff.  My mom and sisters would take me places as well.  It felt so good to get out of the house.  Easing back into it wasn't by walking around the stores though.  I had to be pushed around in a wheel chair.  Or if I was really lucky I would get a motorized one.  I got a good kick out of it when I was riding the motorized ones. If I needed to back up it would make a loud BEEP-BEEP-BEEP noise.  (basically the sound of a utility truck)


I also got tons of cuddle time with baby Victoria.  One of the coolest things is that when she cries Beckham starts kicking.  When I ask Victoria about Beckham she smiles and laughs.  I recorded this video that shows it.  (Baby Taggart-the one i'm referring to in the video is Kjersti's baby)

I've received so much love and support during this pregnancy.  So many great family and friends who have brought us dinner, and visiting us.  We are very blessed!!!


Miracles Happen-Part 2

When Steve walked in the hospital, I felt some relief. We both hugged as tears kept going down our faces.  We were both worried.  I started to feel more pressure and cramping in my back so we told the front desk.  They then got a room set up for me, so that I could lay down and get things started.
As Steve and I were in our hospital room we both said a prayer to our Father in Heaven to please protect Beckham.  It was a really tender moment for Steve and I.  How grateful I am for Steve and for the power of prayer. The nurse came soon after and started getting me hooked up to monitors and listening to Beckham's heart.

My dr. came in told me the procedure again, and what things could happen.  He told me both the good and bad.  If the cerclage works I go on bed rest and hopefully go full term.  The risk of doing the cerclage now (since my cervix is thin) is that the needle he uses to sew the cervix could break the water and we lose him.  Of course I had a lot of fear when he told me the risk, BUT we would lose him if we didn't do this procedure.  The dr. than said we need to get this going before the cervix thins any more.  We told the dr. we want to go ahead with the procedure but we wanted to be left alone for a minute so that I could receive a blessing.  Both of our parents came to the hospital as well, and so Steve and both of our dad's were able to give me a blessing.  I am SO grateful for the power of the priesthood.  I felt comfort and peace as the nurses wheeled me back into the operating room.

I won't go into detail about the actual procedure, but I know that Beckham and I were both being watched over.  I have aways been so scared of the idea of an epidural, and sure enough I had to have an epidural for this procedure. I also had to be wide awake.  It's amazing how calm I felt, and how I didn't care what needed to be done.  I just wanted our baby safe.  It's crazy how much I already love Beckham.  I would do anything for him.  I put all my fears aside, and relied on my Father in Heaven.
I was wheeled back into the room and was told that I would need to stay overnight. The procedure was a success and our little one is safe.  I woke up so many times that night for multiple reasons, but I just remember feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude and joy.  How grateful that I didn't lose our little Beckham that night.

Dr. ordered that I go on bed rest.  Possibly bed rest for the entire pregnancy.  He has never had this happen before.  That's why this is such a miracle.  Most women who find out they have an incompetence cervix usually ends bad.  They usually miscarry the first pregnancy and than for other pregnancies they do a cerclage.  Dr said he usually does a cerclage at 13 weeks, and way before the cervix starts thinning.  Our baby is a miracle.  Every time I've talked to the nurse-Cindy, she always says she knows there was divine intervention that day.  She knows it.  Steve and I know it to.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Miracles Happen-Part 1

On Father's day,  I started to get a little crampy in my lower back and I started to feel some pressure.  I really thought that it could be from my belly growing.  But I was extra cautious and didn't hold any of the  little one's during our family party.  You know when you get those feelings that something just isn't feeling quite right?  Before leaving my parents house I got super emotional.  As soon as I hugged my dad and told him how much I loved him, I lost it.

Monday, I went to work and I was still feeling that same feeling.  Crampy, pressure and this feeling that something could be wrong.  I called my nurse to tell her my concerns.  She told me she thought it was a good idea if I had an ultrasound done and then a urinalysis.  The technician at the office was booked for the day, so she asked that I go across the street to this imaging office and than after come in and do the urinalysis.  
I felt relief knowing I could see Beckham and make sure everything is going ok.  I called Steve and let him know that I'm going to go get checked.  Steve hasn't missed any dr. appointments and he wanted to come, but I let him know that everything would be fine.  (He was in the middle of working at Costco rotations).

I went to the imaging office and the technician was super nice.  I saw Beckham kicking around and waving his cute hand.  I asked the technician how Beckham looked and if everything looked the way it should be.  He told me that everything looks good from what he could see and Beckham is measuring a week a head of schedule.  He told me he would send the images to my doctors office and if something doesn't seem right, they will let me know. 
I was feeling confident again, and sent Steve a quick text letting him know everything is fine! Beckham is even growing a week a head of schedule!:)

I than went to my doctors office and did the urinalysis, as I was a about to leave my nurse came over and told me she needed to speak to me.  My heart sunk.  I started to get worried.
She sat me down and told me that my cervix is thinning.  She said that it can be common, and I'll need to come in and have another ultrasound on Thursday.  She said if it keeps thinning I'm going to need to get a serclage- ( sew the cervix shut).  Connie, the technician at my doctors office walked by and Cindy(my nurse) introduced me to Connie.  She told me that I'll be seeing her on Thursday, and she would be checking my cervix often throughout the next couple weeks.
Connie said she could do a quick look right now.  Cindy, said "Connie, your busy! You have a lot of people to look at it."  Connie said, "no it's fine. Ill do a quick look". Connie takes me and does another ultrasound.  She than tells me my cervix is a lot thinner than what the first technician had originally seen.

My cervix at this point should be at a 3.8 centimeters, the first technician said it was at a 2.8 and it was really only at a 1.5.  TALK ABOUT A MIRACLE that Connie wanted to check and look again.
My doctor took  me in his office and told me the plan.  He was very serious, and told me that if I want to save this baby we need to do emergency surgery in 2 hours.  They would need to sew my cervix shut.  I was going into pre term labor.  I told my doctor I would do anything. I said I'll plan on surgery in two hours.  I than started to cry.  The tears just kept coming and coming.  I felt so much fear and hopelessness.  I could lose my baby.  The baby that we prayed for, for so many years. Cindy took me aside and kept hugging me. Telling me everything is going to be fine. She asked if she could get a hold of Steve for me.  I told her that I could call him.  I called Steve and he wasn't answering (he had his phone on silent since he was working) so I call my mom.  I'm crying and asking my mom and dad to meet me at the hospital.  I still couldn't get a hold of Steve so I sent him a text. Reading: Call me ASAP please! I have to go in for surgery.  Steve calls me and asks me what happened and what surgery. I told him everything.  Steve left work and met me at the hospital.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Finding out the Gender!!!

On Friday, June 7th we found out what Baby Ford is! Steve and I couldn't wait the full 15 weeks to find out what he/she was. So we went when I was 14 weeks and 3 days.  On our ride there we were both sooo anxious! Once you find out the gender, it makes it seem so much more real.  We than can start calling baby by name.  Steve and I both didn't care what gender baby was. We just felt so grateful that this little miracle is growing inside of me.

Baby wasn't very cooperative, and didn't want to reveal what he/she was! When we first saw baby on the ultrasound his/her arms were up in the air while baby slept.  Already taking after his mamma! ;)
The tech was able to get baby moving, and then revealed we are having a BABY BOY!!!!!  Our little Beckham.  Steve and I were both overwhelmed with excitement!  Beckham already has a lot of personality.  When the technician was trying to get him to move again, she started pushing a little on my stomach where he was.  He put his little fist in the air and did three fist punches up at her! It was so funny! He also is a thumb sucker.  He loves his hands and always has them up by his face.

When we left Fetal photos, Steve and I went to our favorite place to eat- Tepanyaki Steak house!  We only go there on special occasions.  This was  definitely a special day!  On our drive there, we just kept laughing and then yelling- We're having a baby!!! a BABY BOY!! It almost seemed like a dream.  We also gave thanks to our Father in Heaven.
Dinner wasn't as good as what I remember it always tasting...and I of course ended up in the bathroom.. but it was such a special night for Steve and I.
After dinner we couldn't wait to share the good news with our immediate family!  Because no one knew we were going this day, everyone was busy doing things! We just told everyone we wanted to come visit.  Kody and Jade ended up being the first to know that Bex was a boy! We showed them the video and Carson was super funny.  He would say "he looks like an alien"  and then "how is he in there?" and points to my belly.  We then were able to show the parents, and both parents reactions were awesome!  Everyone is excited for this little man to join the family!

I'm sooooo excited!! We're having a little man. OUR OWN little man!!!!

Friday, June 7, 2013

May update!

Some REALLY exciting  news!! Steve is DONE with his second year of pharmacy school. He's done!!! Oh my gosh, I didn't think this day would ever come. I am so extremley happy.  His second year has been the hardest year by far.  We are both so happy that all of his hard work has paid off and only one more year to go!
We celebrated last night by going out to dinner and then going to Planet Play :)  We played lots of mini bowling and mini golf.  Then Steve rode the Race cars.

Some other great news is my sister Kartier had her baby girl! She had her on Mother's day.  She is seriously the cutest little thing.  I seriously am loving all the little ones coming into our family.  I am so lucky to be an auntie.  When we were leaving the hospital, I heard "bubba" (aka Carson) yelling my name.  I turn around to see Kody and Carson running to me and they surprised me with a flower.  Carson then hugs me and tells me Happy Mother's day.  Seriously MELT my heart. I love him so much!!! He is the biggest sweet heart.
Also on Mother's day, Steve surprised me with my first Mother's day gift.  It made me feel emotional.. I've been waiting YEARS for this day to come.  It still doesn't seem real... I feel oh so grateful!
Oh and I received a text from one of my sweet Beehives, made me cry! I sure miss those girls..

Memorial day weekend we went to the Ford cabin.  Steve and I needed a little get a way, so we packed our bags and left.  On one of the days, Kris and Jess wanted to come and see us.  So we took a hike to one of the falls.  It was GORGEOUS!!!  So refreshing to be outdoors and take in the beauty around us.  On Monday, we drove home and then had a bbq with my family:)  I looove family time!

I had a Birthday shout- hooray!  Steve surprised me with a FETAL PHOTOS gift certificate!! Best birthday present ever! Steve and I have been so anxious to see our little one and we just couldn't wait until the 20 week mark.  Fetal photos said that we would need to come when I'm closer to 15  just 2 more weeks! I was super nauseous on my birthday. Whit came and had lunch with me (at work) and I had to seriously RUN down my work halls to the bathroom.  I didn't even make it to the bathroom before I started to hurl.

-I still have nausea almost every day
-I crave greasy foods-hamburgers, hot dogs, tater tots (pretty much everything I didn't like prior to pregnancy) haha
-I also crave MUSTARD
-I still can't stand the smell of onions or peppers
-The garbage can at my work desk has become my best friend
-I get super emotional when I see a commercial with a child on it. I start crying.
-Steve and I love the names Rilynn for a girl or Beckham for a boy
-EVERYONE tells me we are having a girl, except for Bob (Steve's dad) and Carson (our nephew)
-Steve is a sweet heart.  He's always trying to help me find foods that won't make me sick.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Baby Ford.

We saw our little one yesterday.  Coolest thing in the WORLD.  I didn't think I could ever love anything so much until I saw the little bean.  Holy toledo, baby's grown so much in just a couple weeks!  Steve and I saw baby for the first time when I was only 6 weeks.  Steve even heard the heartbeat!  SOOO awesome.  Baby was sooo small, and I could see the little flicker on the screen.  I swear my heart skipped a beat just looking at it.  It's our miracle baby.  Still brings tears to my eyes EVERYTIME I think of him/her.  Steve is just as excited! He's so cute.  Once we saw the baby on the screen and the heart flicker, the doctor told us he could hear the heartbeat but it was very faint.  So,  Steve put his ear right up to the machine until he could hear it.  The doctor kindly asked Steve to move, so he could see baby.  

We then saw baby at 8 weeks and it grew a ton more in just two weeks.  This time, I heard baby's heart beat. I loved it.  Hearing the heartbeat was like music to my ear. Just knowing that there really is something growing inside of me.  It's a crazy thought and yet so amazing.  Doctor said baby is growing at the right rate and the heartbeat sounds very strong!-166 beats per minute.

I'm now at 10 weeks!! Time is going fast, but yet so slow..if that makes sense?  We met with our doctor, and we got to see baby again.  This visit was sooo awesome! Baby is actually looking more like a baby. Not a little bean.  He/she was really moving and kicking, I asked the Dr. if we could get a video of it.  (I wish I would of done that on the other 2 ultrasounds) Our doctor is awesome. He says "Hey look baby is waving to mom and dad".  HOLY CRAP!! We are going to be a mom dad.  I then ask if it's waving with his hand, and the dr. tells me it's waving with it's limbs.  No hands yet.  I had no idea!
We've probably watched the video at least 20 times.  Steve and I have both been  showing the video to people and love saying that it's waving to us.

First trimester: (So Far)

-I've felt nauseous, almost every day.  It's always in the morning, and then will hit me again either in the afternoon or in the evening.  
-My sense of smell has heightened. Things can REALLY stink. Unfortunately, I'm smelling more worse things than good. And than it makes me sick.  When when something smells good, it REALLY smells good.
-I absolutely hate anything with lots of flavor. (which is so not me) If there is onions or peppers, I need to be in another room.
-I LOVE tater tots.  They are sooo good. I could eat these every day! Oh, and fruit smoothies. 

The Hope of God's Light.

Steve and I have moved into an amazing ward. We seriously love it. We were asked by the bishop a couple weeks ago to choose a topic during general conference that touched us. I read through so many different topics, and I found one by Elder Uchtdorf. I instantly got the impression I needed to tell our infertility story.. I kept going back and forth on whether or not I should share it. It is so very personal, but I'm so happy that I did. I wanted to post this talk on my blog, because our infertility trial has been a HUGE part of our life.

The Hope of God's Light

Bishop Jenson asked me to choose a topic that really touched me during General Conference. There were so many to choose from, but this one really had a strong impression on me.

The talk I chose to discuss today is by President Uchtdorf –The Hope of God’s Light.

Elder Uchtdorf started off his talk by talking about a  portrait in his office. He says..

“I have a cherished painting in my office that is titled Entrance to Enlightenment. It was created by a friend of mine, the Danish artist Johan Benthin, who was the first stake president in Copenhagen, Denmark.
The painting shows a dark room with an open door from which light is shining. It is interesting to me that the light coming through the door does not illuminate the entire room—only the space immediately in front of the door.
To me, the darkness and light in this painting are a metaphor for life. It is part of our condition as mortal beings to sometimes feel as though we are surrounded by darkness. We might have lost a loved one; a child might have strayed; we might have received a troubling medical diagnosis; we might have employment challenges and be burdened by doubts or fears; or we might feel alone or unloved.
But even though we may feel lost in the midst of our current circumstances, God promises the hope of His light—He promises to illuminate the way before us and show us the way out of darkness. “

End of Quote.

We all go through hard times, burdens and trials in our life. I’m going to share with you a personal trial that my husband and I have gone through.

When Steve and I were first married we had a lot of plans. We planned that we would get Steve through school, I would work full time, we would enjoy getting to know one another before we started our family. We decided that we wouldn’t start extending our family until we were married for 3 or so years.

Everyone get’s to plan out life exactly, right? Everything would be perfect.

Three years pass, and we decided it was time to start our family. A year later still no baby….

After five years of marriage, still no baby. We started to become discouraged. I remember feeling in complete despair. I felt that darkness that Elder Uchdtorf talked about. I felt as if God had forgot Steve and I and that we must have done something wrong. We wanted to be parents so badly, and it was a righteous desire but we weren’t blessed with a child.

Around our 6 year anniversary we are now approved to adopt. We anxiously wait and we were chosen to get a baby in December. It ends up not happening.

We felt forgotten. Darkness felt more prevalent than light.

How grateful I am for my sweet husband, who was in this same trial with me. I felt as if Steve was the only one who understood my pain.

I remember driving to work, and I had a strong impression I needed to distinctly pray for help. I always prayed that we could have a child, or to please let the trial be over. Never did I pray for help to have strength to help me get through this trial. I instantly felt our Savior’s love and embrace. I knew that the trial wasn’t over, but I knew that I could do anything with HIS help. We needed to rely on him.

Elder Uchtdorf said “To you and to all of us, I repeat a wonderful and certain truth: God’s light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things.1 It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn. This is “the Spirit of Jesus Christ,” which gives “light to every man that cometh into the world.”2

Nevertheless, spiritual light rarely comes to those who merely sit in darkness waiting for someone to flip a switch. It takes an act of faith to open our eyes to the Light of Christ.”

So how do we open our eyes to the hope of God’s light?

First, start where you are.

The perfect place to begin is exactly where you are right now. It doesn’t matter how unqualified you may think you are or how far behind others you may feel. The very moment you begin to seek your Heavenly Father, in that moment, the hope of His light will begin to awaken, enliven, and ennoble your soul.5 The darkness may not dissipate all at once, but as surely as night always gives way to dawn, the light will come.

Second, turn your heart toward the Lord.

Lift up your soul in prayer and explain to your Heavenly Father what you are feeling. Acknowledge your shortcomings. Pour out your heart and express your gratitude. Let Him know of the trials you are facing. Plead with Him in Christ’s name for strength and support. Ask that your ears may be opened, that you may hear His voice. Ask that your eyes may be opened, that you may see His light.

Third, walk in the light.

Your Heavenly Father knows that you will make mistakes. He knows that you will stumble—perhaps many times. This saddens Him, but He loves you. He does not wish to break your spirit. On the contrary, He desires that you rise up and become the person you were designed to be.

To that end, He sent His Son to this earth to illuminate the way and show us how to safely cross the stumbling blocks placed in our path. He has given us the gospel, which teaches the way of the disciple. It teaches us the things we must know, do, and be to walk in His light, following in the footsteps of His Beloved Son, our Savior.

End of quote.

I still had times where that darkness would try to overcome me, and I would slowly start feeling despair. As soon as turned to my Father in Heaven for his help, I felt that love again.

Steve and I found out we will be expecting our first baby in December. It’s our miracle baby. Our hearts are full with so much gratitude and love for our Father in Heaven.

Trials are never easy. I know that God gives us trials to help mold us and help us to become stronger and to rely on him more.

I have gained such a strong testimony of my savior and for the atonement. What an amazing gift that we have to use this power. I have felt his love and I know that he has felt exactly what I have felt. He loves all of us and wants us to turn to his light.

I bare testimony of this, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

My heart is so full. EVERY DAY I can't help but feel gratitude to my Father in Heaven for blessing Steve and I with our little one.  I am so forever grateful. 

Monday, April 15, 2013

St. Patrick's Day!

The day before St. Patty's day I planned a little St. Patrick's day hunt for my fav little man.  I had SO much fun doing this!  I have seen my friends do this before for there kids so I decided since I don't have any of my own yet, why not do it for the nieces and nephew? I love doing fun things for them, and I am sooo grateful that I have all these little ones in my life.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Goodbye little home.

I've been a HUGE slacker in blogging. I figured it was time I started doing it again!

We have been very busy lately!! Steve and I moved last month and that was a huge project.  I had NO Idea how much stuff we had packed into our little 1 bedroom apartment. 
We still live pretty close to where we moved and we now have a lot more space, which is really what we needed.   Steve and I had mixed emotions about moving from our little place.  It was our home for over 6 years!  So, it was bittersweet to leave it, but it was time.

So far we are loving our new place! We went to our ward for the first time on Sunday. During the meeting I really felt that this is where we are supposed to be. It was great having that reassurance.

We loved our little home, but it's time for another adventure.

Goodbye little home.