You know. I've been thinking. I'm always thinking....
Why didn't I realize this sooner?
I've been battling the fact that I don't have a little bambino in my life for quite awhile now. Where I've really felt down and discouraged. When really it all makes sense in the scheme of things. Steve is going to be in school for 3 years. 3 years!! Pharmacy school is super intense and I've heard nothing but the fact that it completely keeps him busy. Busy time means-not as much me and him time.
Steve hasn't been excepted yet in pharmacy school, but I just keep getting these feelings that we are going to have change in our life.
You know, generally I don't do well with change. But, I've felt at peace.
Last night Steve and I had FHE and I read in the Ensign-The Savior's Compassion by S. Kent Brown. The story is about the miracle of the apostles catching multiple fish. When I've heard that story before that's all I've really thought about it, it was a great miracle. But, the story goes into deeper meaning eventually getting to the point that the Savior was really looking out for the apostles and for all of their families while they were going to dedicate their lives to the gospel. In that location it was common for fish to be pickled, allowing them to be good for a long time. So, that amount of fish in those size of boats helped the apostles families be financially stable while the apostles did the Lords work.
This story really opened my eyes. It's so easy to look at what's going on now and not really see the whole picture for things. Why are things happening the way they are or not for that matter? The way that I want them to? It's easy. It's all in the Lord's time. I really know that Steve and I haven't had a baby yet because this time is me and him time. 3 years in school really isn't that long. But, we've been able to build a strong relationship with the years that we've had just me and him time. No babies. Makes complete sense. The Lord does have compassion over me, and us. I just needed to soften my heart to get that answer.